ORCumentary – Fully ORChestrated
ORCAdams is a multi-faceted musician who has taken it upon himself to tell you the true story of ORC history rather than leave it up to you to research on your own. First off, you are human and therefore stupid. Second, history has been human-washed and written in such a way to paint orcs in a negative light. This is wrong, and you are dumb for falling for this crap. Here, you will get all the alternate facts you can handle. You will not think the same after hearing this.
- ORCAdams – Keyboards/Vocals/Programming
Fully ORChestrated is the culmination of 15 years of work. There are 22 tracks on the deluxe version, which is the only one you really need. It has the regular and the ORChestral versions of each song, plus a spoken track telling you how and where everything is in the story. And what a story it is!
- The Time of the Orc Has Come
- Goblin Death March
- The Betrayer’s Song
- Troll Snot
- Where There’s A Whip, There’s A Way
- Orcs on Ice
- Orc in My Bathtub
- Smoke the Ashes Of Your Enemy With a Pipe Carved From Their Bones
The disc starts with the anthemic “The Time Of The Orc Has Come.” The drums and strings come in with some seriously gloomy tones, beginning with a gentle keyboard intro. Then, the song starts in earnest. The vocals are harsh and menacing, often offset by the lilting keys that take on an almost calliope rhythm. This sonic dissonance is prevalent throughout the entire record. It adds a lot of musical tension, highlighting the difference in telling history. It is impossible not to get riled up and chant along with “The time of the orc has come” at the song’s end.
“Goblin Death March” again starts with upbeat piano and wind instruments before being overrun with heavy keys and then turning into an almost jazzy piano piece. The shifts in the tone, tempo, and texture of the music are wild. The whole album does this. The orchestral versions are even more over the top. There is nothing standard or stock about this record. All the songs are written from the orc point of view and are unapologetically biased towards the superior race. It does not matter if the track is “The Betrayer’s Song” or “Orcs On Ice.” They all play out the same way.
Life as an orc has been limited up to this point, but no more! Dead orcs will be appropriately honored, well, sometimes they have to be eaten to survive, but that was only that one time (Orcs On Ice). And there was that one orc who betrayed his kind, but there is a rat in every species, not just orcs (The Betrayer’s Song). Ultimately, the orcs will prevail, and that is when there will be a great party where the victorious species will “Smoke The Ashes Of Your Enemy With A Pipe Carved From Their Bones.”
This entire album is a story. Funny at times, sad at others, but always entertaining. Your wait is over if you ever wondered what orcish symphonic metal would sound like. This is it, and it is everything you need in your life and more. The whole record is entertaining and informative from start to finish. The keyboards are excellent, and the rest of the instruments are programmed with a skill that is worthy of mention. The drums are perfectly placed and paced. The strings, horns, and wind instruments perfectly fit into the overall composition.
This is something you should not miss. If you think you’ve heard it all, you are so incredibly wrong. Take some time and listen to this all the way through. Hear the original versions, check out the orchestrated ones, then listen to the commentary. You will come out of this a changed person. You will have a new appreciation for orc history. Long live the ORC!!!!
- Guitars – 10
- Rhythms – 10
- Vocals – 9
- Songwriting – 9
- Production – 9
- Overall – 9.40